Pillsbury Doughboy cupcake candle set

Something about the Pillsbury Doughboy really creeps me out. The pasty skin, vacant eyes, chef's hat, unnecessary giggling: they're all bad. I guess that's why I don't mind seeing him try to balance these cupcake candles for all eternity. Well, until the 5-hour burn time is up, anyway.

I'm sure he'll enjoy the "aroma of chocolate fudge and rich cocoa . . . enhanced by hints of creamy butter and warmed brown sugar" for a while, but those doughy arms will give out eventually. And nothin' says lovin' like a mascot in tears.

If you'd like to save him from my ill intentions, the Pillsbury Cupcake Candle Gift Set is available from Candle Bay for $25.